We have all been there; that moment when you can take it no more and you are ready to drop all the smelling things wey wan comot. Sweating profusely,wobbling legs, singing stomach, occasional puuun😄 #youknowwhatImean. That moment you just wanna sit on the WC. I had an experience where I had resigned to drop it anywhere but this time I was on my NYSC uniform. I didn't care again if punch newspaper had a caption the next day: "Corper pupu on the road in Ojota".
We were the new Batch C Corpers "the BCC", I was a hot corper then ooooo nd it was with joy that I wore my khaki when I was required to open my account for allawee at First Bank in Mazamaza, that far place. But my love for puffpuff 'koba' me. I bought 200naira worth hot puffpuff on the road. While at the bank, the signs were clear that I needed to shit but one corper babe wey dey eye me confuse my mind. I couldn't miss out on her number all because I needed to shit I thought. I will hold it.
Na so I bear the shit small. Me and the babe dey get along well. We open the account, collect ATM card. All my mind na say I go collect number on our way home but her bobo just show last minute carry her enter car comot. Stupid girl. The idiot offer me ride but I no fit fall my hand. If only I knew I shudda found the nearest toilet, be it in the bank or an eatry. Lagos no get bush so dat one no dey mind. Na so I enter danfo from Mazamaza to Ojota hoping to get home and coolly shit but danfo just dey stop anyhow for road dey carry people. Be like say make I beat the driver anytime he stop pick passenger for road. After two hours on the road with my hands for belly like person wey Mike Tyson punch; the idiot driver drop us for road say Ojota na 5mins walk away. Em come dey beg say he dey fear agbero. I swear for the man, even the unshit shit swear for am. It was that moment that I consider dropping it on the main road. The pain was too much. The shit don turn to water already. Maybe dem don dey come out sef; I no kw but I dey sweat like person wey just finish one round😄I don dey imagine people snapping me as I dey shit for road or even police arresting me for shitting on government property. Everlasting disgrace. But it's better than shitting on your body and smelling everywhere mostly when my house still far.
But God no fit let disgrace catch me. He reasoned my rep. What about all those babes wey dey feel me for camp? I no miss any NCCF worship on Sunday for camp. He just pity me open my eyes like Ballam wey beat innocent donkey after donkey no gree carry am go curse Israel wen em see angel. Na so I see public toilet. I give the man 20 naira. Before I reach the WC, the shit don dey drop. If to say I wait a minute extra ehnnn.
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