A date with a Church girl

‘Sister Grace, I have a big surprise for you’

‘It’s no longer a surprise, the Lord has revealed it already in a vision’ Grace replied to my surprise

 I was shocked. This Grace was too hot.

‘Then you know my plans aren’t evil’

‘The bible said we should not be equally yoked with sinners and your plans aren’t good’

‘But Sister Grace, the plans I have for you are of good and not of evil and to bring you to an expected end’

‘Ahhh. What expected end? What expected end Hotboy? To lay me in bed? Grace was harshing up.

‘Sister Grace, I’m no longer Hotboy. Old things are passed away and behold all things have become new. You have changed me Grace. Please let me prove to you that I’m changed. Don’t be scared of me’

‘I’m not scared of you. You are a mere human. We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers’

That was typical Grace. She knew every verse in the bible. She couldn’t construct two sentences without quoting from the scriptures. I went to that church for 3 months before Grace would even talk to me. I told her my Christian name is Philip and that Hotboy was something I’ve given up on. I began to learn memory verses and it was after I joined the prayer team too that she agreed to be my friend but with that yansh of Grace, I wanted more. I would not say I was in love with her but she was beautiful and decent. Just the kind of girl you will want to take to momma but Grace was too harsh, she looked like she could give me slap for any slight misyan.

It was BJ that suggested that if I sleep with Grace that she would be nicer to me. I told him that no man can seduce her but he said Grace is a woman and every woman has sexual drives. That I should try my best. I did oooo but Grace no go even flash me once. Me sef whenever I see Grace, my heart go dey pound. Is that one a girlfriend?

As we got to the spot where me and Grace was supposed to meet the crew (my friends), even me sef was surprised with the amount of smoke that filled the air. My regular spot had become like Sodom and Gomorrah just because of my company with Grace. Just then Grace began to soliloquize

‘Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I fear no evil……’

‘Grace please. Don’t do this. They are my friends, they are not demons’

We got to the table reserved by me and my friends and she met the whole crew: BJ, shally, Daddy yo and his girlfriend Funmi.

I introduced Grace to the crew and they welcomed her too with joy.

‘So this is the lovely lady that has taken our friend far away from us? Funmi said.

‘I didn’t. He just came closer to the Lord and farther from the world.’ Grace started. Everyone was shocked. So na we be the world everyone began to murmur.

‘Jesus said Men love darkness more than light because their deeds are evil. In the last day there will be crying and gnashing of teeth.’

‘Please Grace, we are all Christians here and we know the bible. Daddy Yo here is a chorister in church’ I cut in.  Daddy Yo was visibly angry I could tell but he managed a smile.

‘That’s good but is the spirit of God in him? Because He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world’ Grace continued.

‘Please don’t insult anyone here. Hotboy what is this? Please tell her…..’ Funmi blasted.

‘Funmi, it’s ok….’ I tried to diffuse the tension.

‘The truth is bitter. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life’ Grace continued.

‘Guy you don enter am’ Daddy Yo said.

‘Wow. It’s a pleasure having the crew together after a long while. Please let me get Five alive for our cute friend here, Grace’ Shally said with her grace.

‘I will not defile myself with the king’s wine’ Grace said. The whole crew opened mouth like…..Grace was something else. ‘Daniel, Shedrack, Menshack and Abednego ate just fruits and vegetables but they looked better than those that ate from the King’s table’.

At that point, we knew the plan was dead. BJ had planned to put a little alomo and our special so that Grace can high small but Grace wanted only water. Imagine. Water.

‘Chaiii, this Grace no sabi the koko’ said BJ.

‘What is the koko?’ Grace asked angrily.

‘It’s the truth. The truth shall set you free’ I quickly said before she break bottle for my head.

Shally left earlier and BJ as usual had gone to find another candidate for the night. Daddy yo and Funmi had gone to their room for the night leaving me and Grace.

‘Grace, let’s go to the room I reserved for us’

‘To do what?

‘We need to sanctify ourselves from this unholy place’ I said

‘You sef know it’s bad. The wise king said evil communication corrupts good manners’

‘My dear, I’m not evil’

‘You are! You are a thief. The devil. You came just to kill, to steal and to destroy me’

‘Is it bad if I steal your heart?’ I said.

‘So you want to spend the night with me?’

‘Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning?’

‘You are a fool. You are misquoting. What you said now, does it make sense? Grace was boiling.

‘It means even though you cry this night, you will be happy in the morning’ I explained

‘Get behind me Satan’

‘Cast me not away from your presence oh Grace’ I pleaded.

‘You just abused the third commandment by using God’s name in vain’

Chaii, this girl gat no chills, so I tried to use a slight force on her. Normally, girls will be saying ‘Hotboy stop’ and they will be enjoying it and moaning and be following me. Why do girls do that but Grace gimme hot slap. Tiasss!

‘Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm’ She warned.

At this point, I could take it no more. Which kind girl be this? How person go get girl wey he no fit kiss. Last week, I tried kissing after showing her the bible said we should greet one another with a holy kiss but she quote one full book in the bible.

‘GRACE WITH THIS BEHAVIOUR OF YOURS. YOU NO GO SEE HUSBAND MARRY’ I insulted.

‘I’m married to Jesus, Satan leave me alone’

Check out the next episode of the search for Bae.