Luv my guys. We fit dey yan with english but u can't hear wat we r saying. For instance, if "Negative Influence" says he climb tree, it means he kissed a girl, if d tree high; d babe no gree and if branch break; he was probably caught. To drop key with sir ray means to go shit. We be like dj khalid, we d best.
My name na Ekenedilichukwu. I love my ladies' slender. D ones dat look like dey r suffering from malnutrition. We call dem Ekene girls. If I see Ekene-typed babe i wud say "I see one madt Ekene girls."
One day for church na so I see this madt Ekene girls. I promise myself to get the babe hook or crook. As service close, I cum dey find d babe, I no see am, I finally see her for front. I come dey run up to catch her but d babe footstep na 100 km/hr. I swear she even overtake one ferarri. Na so d babe dey waka.
Finally, she branch buy boli for road, na so I catch up use all my skills collect her number. As a sure guy, na two weeks later I steal her heart. She hot die. I have finally gotten d Ekene of my dreams. Her name was Stella.
Stella is a classic babe, she flat like plyboard, no front no back. She get high taste and I plan to show her say me sef na bad guys. Credit to her she was not demanding. Perfect babe.
On February 14th, vals day, she planned to go to the beach with her friends. All the bfs were invited including me. Determined to prove dat d oda guys aint a class ahead of me, I withdraw 50k. All my mind na say I go pose 4 dem. As we reach dere, d guys say dem need one wine, I don forget d name. Dem wan contribute buy am but I jump shout: "I got this". Hw much? 40k!!! Yea!!! My life.
As an economist, I was determined to maximize my investment, I vex dey drink d wine. People dey hail me, my babe friends told me to calm down; I no hear. "Nobody go enjoy my money pass me", I thought. I shak d thing joor.
As people dey feel me, e enter my head, I kw say I don make Stella proud. My babe. Na so dem start Truth or Dare. Dem dare one guy 2 take off him shorts; d guy shame. Me wey don high vex shout "wats wrong with you? Wats dere?" I comot my smelling boxers till I was stark naked dey run around. I kw wat I was doing was rubbish but I couldn't stop it. Guys and babes just dey snap me pics. Before I know I don shit for body. Small time vomit followed. My babe guys chased me n bundled me inside d car. After futile struggles, I gave up n slept off.
I woke up at home some hours later n was told wat happened. More embarrassing was d million views on youtube. Dat means one idiot don use my ordeal fame himself. I wan die. I go meet Stella, knelt down n begged with tears so she forgives me. She gimme one dirty slap wey I no fit forget. Na dat slap gimme dis yoruba mark.
Stella never came back. Can u blame her?
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