Which is better? Ashawo or Thief?

Three things you hear the Nigerian woman say she can’t do for money is to kill someone, prostitute (and olosho plenty) or steal, else, there is nothing they can’t do for money. I watched a video today on Facebook where some girls were dealt with, stripped and beaten for stealing. They weren’t armed. So I throw the question opened which is better or who should be respected more: A prostitute or a thief?

Dem shoot me for prick

Ok comedy is everywhere if only you open your eyes to it. This particular one happened in 2013, then I was in the intensive care unit (ICU)…….yes oooo dem winches wan kill Desire too. Na the guy wey dey next to me dey make me laugh. He said armed robbers shoot am for prick. The guy, em mama nd em pregnant teenage wife were just natural comedians.

Big green fat long strong cucumber

Sincerely what was the first thing that came to your mind with this post title? You yaff spoil. All these lez go dey hype cucumber, all these guys with tiny things go dey brag about their cucumber. Now I don’t even see the edible anymore in a good light. Imagine what I thought when the woman for bus dey emphasize on the size, colour and strength of the cucumber.

When the baby bite the daddy prick

The hausa’s obviously know the game panya where you throw the baby up and catch them. This was an experience shared by my grandma while she was in Minna.

My abandoned bible

If God wan disgrace you, He will in a beautiful way. I never read bible for weeks now, I no know say one cockroach don get hospital wey em dey born children inside my bible.

tear tear boxers

Despite the recession I don dey fat. Na Baba God do am oooo. All my agbada be like slim fit come get fitting. I dress well, hot boy like me but like most people na only wetin people dey see dey clean. I no mind my tear tear boxer as I wear am or the white-turn-brown singlet I wan wear, afterall, who go see am? If na club where I fit do quickie I go use clean one.

why you should forgive

Ok I go to church too and I no sleep today. The sermon today had a message on forgiveness but also on the company you keep. Some friends are agents of success and with them you prosper while some are agents of failure; no matter how hardworking you are, they will pull you down. Joseph was a typical agent of success, his position in the house of potipha….(I no sabi spell) and in Egypt yielding them success despite global recession.

pre-wedding pischure in my country

The pre-wedding photos are a ritual right now. Could be very innovative with crazy concepts that have no meaning if interpreted but just fun in display. My captions aint personal....just lol. Don't mind Desire, he stumbled across these pics dat made him laugh

 While it's a beautiful picture, I wonder how the bride's father would have felt.

How person go dey jolopi my pikin even before em' official get the right?.

Whose children are those sef? 

Can Blood Money Cause Inflation?

I never do blood money before so I don’t know how blood money dey work. Shey person dey vomit money for cupboard or money go just disappear inside wardrobe or one orisha go carry money come (in calabash) from where? Dem dey print am or steal am? But if blood money are produced spiritually and government have no control over, then does that mean they can cause inflation?

swag gone wrong

Some days after you look mirror see yourself; you go get self crush. Na me be this? Good make person get money. I don dey save for this day. All the salary for the part time jobs I do, I save am use am buy clothes to do show off. All those people wey downgrade me gats to feel me. I no know say I go still chop disgrace.

Oya come down. Shey u wan cut light?

Everyday for the Nepa; one day for the people. Dem go give us light worth 200naira and go still bring bill 4500naira. We dey pay, we no dey complain. Na so dem dey cheat us but we no get choice cos one litre of fuel na 145naira. But all you nepa people, if you wan cut light abeg reason the timing. Bad timing fit give you story that touch. Ensure say dem no dey house or light no dey cos you no

BIG BROTHER NIGERIA SHOT IN SOUTH AFRICA. And so what?

Everybody dey complain sey big brother Nigeria dey hold for South Africa and dem say it’s ridiculous like say the organizers no get sense. On first look, it feels that way but on a closer look, don’t you think dey know what they are doing? Imagine make Nepa comot light at the point wey something interesting wan happen.

Gbogbonise: It just won't come down.

Before we start, my boyfriend don come like Usain Bolt. I no dey enjoy am and I no wan cheat. Before we even reach the room; the whole episode don finish. When the guy wan form romance and say “Call me daddy” I go just say “Farda” cos em suppose dey seminary with that behaviour.

When you like a girl and she beats you

You see say I no too dey follow woman laugh; E get reason. Cos you like a babe doesn't mean she likes you ooo. Wen guys like a lady; dey become playful with dem and make a whole lot of jokes. Na wetin me sef do ooooo wey I chop confirm beating. I dey JSS 3 dat time. Just dey learn all those

Ugly Dirty Smelling Tomato Woman

Smelling tomato. Who want to eat this one? Have you ever gossiped with your friend via chat about someone irritating sitting next to you without knowing the person is reading all you are typing? I was

Call of Nature

We have all been there; that moment when you can take it no more and you are ready to drop all the smelling things wey wan comot. Sweating profusely,wobbling legs, singing stomach, occasional puuun😄 #youknowwhatImean. That moment you just wanna sit on the WC. I had an experience where I had resigned to drop it anywhere but this time I was on my NYSC uniform. I didn't care again if punch newspaper had a caption the next day: "Corper pupu on the road in Ojota".

karashika

I sit down my own side jejeli like christian wey just repent and no need temptation. I dey mind my own business but one thing with figure 8 just pass me dey gimme green light. I come fall like devil when God throw am comot from heaven, but these girls are very wicked. Dem just want to play with somebodi emotion.

You may eat the bride

what do u expect when churches don't allow couples to practice the kiss before the wedding day?

I'm wet

I remember one day for school wen heavy rain start like say rapture wan take place. I jejeli go find one corner stay make the rain no mama my life cos baba dey quick catch cold.

For where I dey na so one fine opeke (the one 2shot call Amaka Nweke) show face. Like mami water

Please increase my alawee

I was chatting with my corper friend, Modupe, some days back and she said she was home at the moment because she was broke. It was then it occurred to me that allawee never change since I serve oooo. Na still that N19800. 

Abeg shift your B*****

No be every asset be correct one ooo. Babes go dey think say coz dem gather dem fit dey pose like Baba Fryo. Assets aside, you need a fine face and if God no give you that one; you need a good character.

One hot afternoon after much stress I enter keke maruwa to my house so I no even look the babe wey

How smart phones are making demons of people

Information can make you look smart, keep your friends,make you popular but at what cost do we get information nowadays? At the cost of another's life? Where are your morals? Where is that human in you? Only demons laugh wickedly at night under a big mango tree when the life of someone is gone. Someone who would do that in the open is worse.

A few incidents happened of late where Nigerians were quick to use their phones with the mind of

What if your last MMM PH were to Ghosts who'd transfer your money to ONE account?

Just Imagine.

What if your last PH (Provide Help) were to Ghost accounts set up by your guiders who in turn paid to a unit account. The Mavrodi Account.