What a Calabar?

‘Guy, you sharp pass all this na. Live your life the way you always do and the right girl will come to you’ BJ said.

‘BJ, the kind of lifestyle you live will attract the kind of people you meet. I don’t want girls that sabi the thing. I want good girls’ I said

‘See this ashawo ooo. You dey find virgin? You know how many you don burst’

‘Please stop. Those are things I regret’

‘Ehen, so why you dey complain of konji. You dey find Grace part 2?

‘Grace no be person joor. I just need a girl that’s decent and you know a bit appealing like Mo’

‘Who say Mo na virgin? Look……’

‘Stop’ I cut in. When the conversation is about Mo, then it’s over.

Ever since Grace gave me that slap in Sodom and Gomorrah, I have been on the lookout for a new bae. I hung out with my friends more often and I realised that friendship was the best thing that God gave man after family. We will hang out every Friday night, share our experiences and fears and joke about everything. BJ just seemed to be laying a new girl every week. I once thought about finding someone to satisfy my urge but I was really done with that life.

It was a Tuesday night I met Itorobong. I got home really tired from work that day and just as I was about to have my bath, BJ called me that there is someone he would like me to meet who was currently with him at Sodom and Gomorrah.

‘Guy it’s Tuesday. You no go go work tomorrow?’ I asked.

‘Hotboy, I swear you will not regret this’

I put on a jean trousers and white shirt and drove to our regular spot, Sodom and Gomorrah.

Getting there, I found BJ with two ladies. Aha. That’s why he called me. He needed me to help him out with one so the other can be his next victim. But I was wrong. BJ yaff found me a Calabar nurse.

Just imagine what went through my head meeting this stunning beauty. She was the stereotype Calabar babe: endowed (front, back and face. Any babe that had those three na maami water), she can cook (as usual with calabar), she looked social (definitely go sabi the thing), well read (not all these 3weeks learning nurse) and she knew how to keep a conversation. In the back of my mind; I had seen a wife but I no sabi anything. All that glitters isn’t gold.

My spirits blessed BJ. Now I have found a girl that would make me think less of Mo. I have found a girl that I’d flaunt about and make Mo jealous. I began to imagine all the things that I’d do that Mo will see and hear and regret that she didn’t give me a chance. But why am I thinking about Mo now I thought. God, I was madly in love with her.

‘What you thinking of’ Itoro’s voice startled me.

‘Nothing’ I said with a smile.

‘Not about your wife?’

‘Wife? I have never been married’ I replied.

‘Just teasing. So why are you called Hotboy?

‘Oh. Hotboy. It’s a name I got when I was young after a drama. So it’s difficult to imagine a beauty girl like you single’ I said.

‘Well I am. I haven’t found a man that can satisfy me yet. Oh just teasing’ She joked.

‘Whew! Maybe you have been waiting for Hotboy’

‘Maybe. Is that why you are called Hotboy?’ She asked.

‘No….not really…em…em’ I began to stammer

‘Come on. Just teasing.’ Itorobong said.

She seem to half flirt with me but there is a massive gulf in the reasoning of a guy when he wants a fling and when he wants a long term. I just couldn’t see the green lights that Itorobong was flirting with me, I wanted to take it easy, I didn’t want to rush. Even after I dropped her over at her place, I resisted the urge to kiss her even though her body was pushy. It was a massive night. It was like love at first sight or maybe lust.

Before I got home, my whatsapp had begun to get messages. You know what? Itorobong was really horny. She yaff finish my phone with nude pics and asked me to send mine. She also ‘teased’ me on not leaving up to my name ‘Hotboy’. I was shocked and disappointed but guys no dey allow better thing pass by. So I gave in and we began to talk dirty. She promised to finish me the next day in bed and I just couldn’t wait.

6am Wednesday morning, Itorobong was already calling.

continued on saturday