Episode 7: The Heartbreak

These pains are too much; we're supposed to love one another
Just like bread and butter you came into my life but you dey make me dey suffer
What did i do?......your cup don dey full......
I forgive you anyway but there is something I want you to know
When these eyes cry again; you don lie
When these arms fall again; you no try
When this heart breaks again; I go tell you bye bye

When you are happy, you enjoy the harmony but when you are sad you understand the lyrics.

Research shows it takes 11 weeks before a man starts recovering from heartbreak on the average and the easiest way for a man to get off heartbreak is to enter another relationship. Every guy’s confidence gets crushed when heartbreak happens like this and all he does is look for a rebound which is quite unfortunate. What happens in that relationship depends on the characters of those involved.

As I was pulled off, I felt marginalized because Femi who was already bleeding had broken a bottle and was heading towards me but I was saved by my friends Daddy Yo and BJ who quickly disarmed my rival. I was embarrassingly kicked out of the club and my friends had to leave with me to pacify me. BJ was just a goat and he reminded me that the most painful thing was the fact I had not slept with Tayo. In fairness, that was the real pain. Too much to take knowing all my chance of wiping her was gone. BJ claimed he overheard Tayo say I was not man enough to satisfy her sexual needs and if I couldn’t even be man enough to kiss her then she had to reach out to a real man. Imagine, me! Hotboy! A maga? I don die.

My friends told me that my relationship now with Tayo was rubber dead. Yes I knew but was curious to see if she was hurt. I was tempted to call her, to give her a piece of my mind but I was bigger than that, couldn’t afford to demean myself anymore though I stalked her on social media. She wasn’t fazed by what she had done. She was actually more active on social media posting different types of pictures with cryptic victorious messages. Every smile she shared on her social accounts was an arrow shot to my heart.

I became really moody, always tired, lost appetite and was less social. I barely hung out with the guys and whenever I did, I never partook in the ‘hail game’. I read books and articles on how to overcome heartbreak but they only highlighted the fact I was heartbroken, they never seem to provide solutions to my problems. Melancholic songs became my favourite and isolation was bae. I had lost my self-esteem and couldn’t even look at my lady crush (Precious) in the eyes. I was finished. I didn’t think I was good for any girl. Maybe if I need an ugly girl to regain it but I kicked such thoughts out.

BJ, my real nigger knew exactly what I was going through and he’d do anything to get me out of this situation. It was no surprised when he pulled up in my house on a Friday night that we should go clubbing. I saw fire in his eyes and knew he had plans for that day. Once we got to the club, the booze started. It was nonstop and I was already intoxicated. BJ as usual dared me to ask a big bumbum girl that had grinded me on the dance floor out. I was a bit sceptical and refused but he hyped her arse (even though I’m a boobs guy) and told me to prove I was man enough. At that moment, my confidence was rock bottom and I didn’t think I could get any lady. That’s what heartbreaks do to you. Seeing her, I knew she was a class below meand won’t be hard. She wasn’t too good looking so I walked up to her and dropped all the lines on this earth. It didn’t too long and she gave me her number.

That was how I got another girlfriend. Don’t think it was rosy for Tayo. Femi was a married man who was married to a Warri woman and you know say warri no dey carry last. Emeoyo, Femi’s wife ambushed Tayo one day, nod her for eyes and tore her clothes displaying her breasts for every lucky passer-by to see free boobies. I heard there was a big strain at work too because of their relationship that isn’t officially approved and both were punished. You see say my God dey fight for me.

Lastly, my story too wasn’t that fun sailing too. You remember I asked Bisola out in the night under the influence of alcohol. She accepted me two days later to begin a relationship. It was not until she said yes that I knew I had made a mistake. Aside that big bumbum, that was all that was good about her. I almost fainted when I saw she had tribal marks. And you know ugly girls when they see fine boy; they will die there.