Episode 5: Friendzone

yellow Sisi make you look my face; I no be your brother
Be like say you make mistake ooo; you no be my sister
Me and you we no relate; no relate
I say make you come my house and you dey call me your brother
After Itorobong touchy touchy, I took a break from my search for bae. She was just a physical somebody. I needed someone who was not body stingy like Grace and was also not body free like Itorobong.

Daddy Yo said a girl who had recently been heartbroken but a socialite was the exact kind of girl I needed and he had exactly the kind of babe I needed. I reasoned with him, if I found a babe that will let me wait for her but will give me the assurance that I’d finally get it one day, that was exactly what I wanted. My parents are getting older and they wanna see their grandchildren so it was something that had to be serious but not the one wey go make konji kill me.

That was how I met Tayo who had just suffered heartbreak from her previous relationship. She had dated Farouk, a chronic womanizer, who would chase anything under a skirt. If you wear goat a skirt, Farouk will rape it. She had put up with him for 17 months but ended it 3 weeks ago when he tried raping her younger sister. There were rumours he attempted to rape her grandmother too.

Me and Tayo kicked off immediately, I played the part of ‘getting to know you’, was forming boredom and needed a friend, she told me about Farouk and I reassured her she did the right thing by quitting that relationship. Na so we begin friendship ooo but the babe started to friend zone me. She started calling me brother. That thing use to annoy me ehn. Every night she will be telling me about all the guys she met and how she felt about them, when I go offline, she will get hurt and nag that I was her best friend.

 When you like a girl, there are many mistakes made. I was now thinking about what will happen to our relationship if I told her how I felt about her. Tayo was an amazing girl, we regularly flirted on the phone but once she came, she would go offline and shrug off every intimate thing I said thereafter. She was also smart to avoid been emotional whenever we weren’t in that mood. I was beginning to fall for her and it was obvious. She liked me too but not on the same page, hers was more of a ‘friendship’ love and the willingness to prove to her that I was different from the other guys she had met was a downfall for me. She had insisted that every guy befriended a girl because of sex and nothing good could come out of a boy and girl friendship; I foolishly tried to prove her wrong.

Some weeks into our relationship, she started telling me frequently about a guy at her work place, Femi, who was head over heels in love with her even before she met Farouk and although she liked him, she didn’t give into his demands because she wasn’t sure she wanted to do an office thing. According to her he was charming, tall, handsome and funny and she bumps into him every now and then, they had even ‘mistakenly’ kissed at the office once. Then she asked me what my opinion was on office romance. I felt like a fool that very moment, it was like I’ve been wasting my time all my life it seemed. I was lost in thought when she asked ‘if I was there?’, so I told her I don’t wanna hear anything about her liking another guy and my emotions got the best part of me so I told her I was in love with her and I wanted something serious.

She went quiet for a long time then told me she doesn’t feel that way. That I was a great guy and someone she could trust, someone she could confide in and nothing more. I swear girls don’t know exactly how annoying it is when you tell a guy those kind of wicked-kind words. Deep down in my mind I knew it was the end but that rubbish spirit will be telling me that you can still win her.

The next few days was hell for me and Tayo, she had changed completely and was so busy to even pick my calls now and even when she did, she had lost that spark of excitement synonymous to her that I was accustomed to. We spoke very little now and that should be a clear sign to a guy that it can’t work but one mistakes guys make is pressing on the fact that deep down that lady likes you and you can make her feel the same way.

I keep pushing but Tayo kept going back and at a point, I felt like I was pesting her but I was determined to get her, maybe if I go through hell for her, she will realize I was really in love with her and deserves a shot. I started been friends with her female friends and will buy them all sort of things in order to make them like me. Subsequently, I became their ATM and Tayo will only call when she needed something, I knew clearly I was a maga but the problem is that once you start, you can never stop.

In the next two months, the only time I saw Tayo was the two times I took her and her friends for a night out, all through the journey and outing, she was on the phone with someone- maybe Femi, it was really disgusting but magas know they are magas and can’t really get out of it. One of her best friends, Nifemi began to take a liking on me and was nice to me. She told me to leave Tayo alone and find another girl but I wasn’t sure of her motives or as to why she will reveal some of the nasty things her friend did or the demeaning things she said about me. I wondered why all the girls I sincerely liked never accepted me or liked me. Tayo hurt and abused me, Mo had also done exactly the same.

To cut short the long story, Tayo had saved my name on her phone as Maga and she was actively in a sexual relationship with Femi who we eventually got to know was a married man. Nifemi had tried to flirt me once so it was really tough to judge her motives or sense truth most especially when she told me Tayo had had an abortion for Femi.

A love struck nigger is a foolish one. Watch out for the next episode. Thanks.